Too Funny

Dave Letterman's Top 10 last night: Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Having Sex In A McDonald's

10: Should I take her someplace more romantic like Applebee's?

9: Am I going to get "The McClap"?
8: Should we just stay in the car and have sex in the drive-thru?
7: The rats won't mind, will they?
6: Would she rather have had a 'Whopper'?
5: Is this what my dad meant when he said, "Go get a job at McDonald's"?
4: Should I add fries and a soda for an extra 99 cents?
3: Can I tell my wife I was just getting a 'Happy Meal'?
2: Should I see a psychiatrist?
1: Is this going to hurt my wife's presidential campaign?

Original Website

Al Gore

This is longer than I usually attempt to post. I apologize...

So in my wanderings amid the World Wide Web, I happened up this interview with Vint Cerf, credited with inventing the internet. One piece of wisdom he pointed out was this:

"Al Gore had seen what happened with the National Interstate and Defense Highways Act of 1956, which his father introduced as a military bill. It was very powerful. Housing went up, suburban boom happened, everybody became mobile. Al was attuned to the power of networking much more than any of his elective colleagues. His initiatives led directly to the commercialization of the Internet. So he really does deserve credit."

This of course triggered my mind into super-nerd mode... so I went to Wikipedia.

So wait, Al Gore's Dad introduced the interstate highway bill, leading to (in my mind) incredible urbanization and destruction of small town America? Wow. Now, there's a lot of benefits of the Interstate Highways as well - primarily increased trade. But still, wow...

I wonder if Al Gore realizes that the most extreme temperature variations attributed to Global Warming are in big cities? It's apparently called "Urban Heat Island Effect." Another article here. If you still don't believe the concept, just go drive out to the country one night - its cold.

Now, I loves me the environment, but (don't stone me) I don't believe in Global Warming any more than I believe in Witchcraft or the need to reclaim the Holy Land for Christianity. I think all of these are popular delusions of the masses. But I do have to wonder if Al Gore Jr. ever steps back enough to see that his father created the current political power Jr has in environmentalism by encouraging all the people to live together, heat things up, and get angry 'cause its hot...

Whataburger

Among the many classifications of people that drive me crazy are slow people. Slow drivers, slow thinkers, and definitely slow fast-food restaurants.

So today I'm going over to my sister's place to babysit my nephew for a bit, and having had no lunch I thought, "Hey, how 'bout a whataburger?" I pull into the drive thru lane @ 1:03. I order at 1:05. I get my food at 1:22. 17 minutes in the frickin' drive thru. I could have gone to Chili's/Applebees/etc. and gotten my food quicker. The people at Whataburger are idiots. Here's a couple reasons why:

1) Fast food restaurants, like grocery stores, are perfect places to implement need-based staffing, looking at the previous weeks/months/years and determine when you're going to need more people, or even -gasp!- more hamburgers. Now, lots of fast food restaurants do this - Wendy's on a Saturday night, they have them crakin'. Whataburger, apparently not so much.

2) How about telling that fat piece of trash that ordered $30 from Whataburger to pull off to the side while you finish preparing his meal, so you can get the other people out faster?

3) My favorite: How about you have a cash register by the window!?! That's right, after finally pulling up to the window, nobody was there for 2-3 minutes. When they finally did show up, they took my card and ran it out to the cash registers in the main dining area. I'm like, "What the?!?"

I hate idiots.

Do I miss it?

So I was talking to someone yesterday and they asked if I was going back to Iraq this summer and I told them no, I had turned it down for an internship in Dallas. They said they were relieved, at which point I chimed in that often I wish I were back there.
It was fun, eye-opening, and profitable, but I think the biggest reason I miss it is just the feeling I had of waking up everyday and knowing that people were counting on me. That I was helping save (American) lives and protect our boys. I feel that what I'm doing now in school, and what I aim to do for my career, are of significantly less value. So yeah, I do miss it.

Yes, I am a Nerd

I admit, I am a total nerd. How do I know this? Well, there's lots of reasons. The most recent and relevant at this posting is that on a beautiful Saturday afternoon I'm in the law library studying, but found this video absolutely fascinating. Think about that: law and engineer nerd studying on a beautiful Saturday intrigued by a video about fixing old NES systems. Anyway, on to the video...



Also, I saw Juno last night. It was great. But only if you enjoy sarcasm and wit while discussing serious topics. Of course, if you don't think most things in life deserve a good mocking, you probably don't get my sense of humor, and probably wouldn't enjoy (or get) the movie.

Dodgeball!

So I haven't studied in 2 days... with finals only 2 weeks away, that's probably bad. OK, so I've got to crack down here, but how did I spend the past two days? Well, on Friday I went to a seminar about Intellectual Property. It was just as amazing as it sounds - I only fell asleep twice.

Today, I spent the morning at a Dodgeball Tournament. Our team name was Dealers of Duress. It probably should have been 6 Pale White Guys or perhaps 5 Mormons and 1 Not. Anyway, the tourney took along time, but was a lot of fun. It was almost as cool as the movie... We got 4th place - just missed out on a trophy. So that was my Friday and Saturday.

The Wonderful Power of Google

I like Google products. I think they do a good job, are generally free, and sometimes have incredible possibilities. I remember when I first started using Google Earth how amazed I was. I love that they bought Blogger, so now I don't have to log an extra time to post. I wish they would pony up and buy Facebook, but I think that time's come and gone - and I'm not sure there exists enough cash in the world to do that anyway.

But my newest joy from Google comes from Google Docs. Now, I'm normally a big MS Office fan - but today, when 4 people from school all needed to fix up a contract together, all Word could do for us was sit around and all watch 1 person type. A nice, ineffective use of time. So what I did was upload the document to Google Docs, then invite the other 3 people to work on it as well. All 4 of us were simultaneously working on it, and we busted it out in 45 minutes compared to hours of doing it the other way.

Now, I know this capability has been out for awhile - but this was the first time I've used it, and it was great - some lag issues, but really an overall positive experience!

My nephew came over to play...

So my Nephew came over and played for a bit in my apartment. I don't have too many toys, but he really enjoyed my beanbag and my ab wheel... And his face was very, very messy.

Things I hate

This is by no means an all encompassing list, but rather a few things that have been on my mind the past several weeks (or minutes, as the case may be):

• Ballerina Shoes. You are not a ballerina, and they're ugly. Don't wear them.
• People who care A LOT about watching sports. You know it doesn't really matter, right? Or are you so delusional that you think yelling at the TV and getting mad when your team loses will influence your team or the universe one iota? Unless you're actually playing, maintain a perspective, idiots.
• Announcer's at the white trash events I enjoy: demolition derby, boxing, rodeo... Why can't these guys just shut up and let us enjoy watching a guy get pummeled by a horse, car, or fist? I don't get it.
• Hearing about someone's ED/Viagra issues while at the pool. This happened about 20 minutes ago... Thankfully he wasn't talking to me, I overheard it, but I still didn't want to hear about that, or what he and his girl did in his church parking lot because of those issues. I'm gonna go throw up now.
  

28 days from now...

My first final is 28 days from tomorrow morning. This will not be fun. However, one thing that might be worse would be waking up in 28 days and running for my life because everyone has become a zombie. Dirty zombies.